Lara Spencer on Good Morning America  talked about an article in Country Life magazine. Apparently it was about what defines an English gentleman. Let’s just say Fred and The Beau, well, they didn’t fair too well. So that led Gig and I on a rabbit trail about Redneck Gentlemen (Yes, there definitely is such a thing…it’s just a little bit different from an English Gentleman.)

Well, we were cracking ourselves up so much that I thought we needed to get the boys involved. I thought they’d kick back a few “Redneck gentlemen do….” texts and we’d get a good giggle and go on our way. I under estimated Fred. (I often do, even after all these years.)

Throughout the day, with his not so little texting fingers, Fred posted his response to the English gents 39 steps. Here are the results:

The 39 steps to being a (modern) gentleman courtesy of Country Life.

1. Negotiates airports with ease (Fred’s version: Southern men can do this while transporting a weapon.)
2. Never lets a door slam in someone’s face (Fred’s version: Southern men will not only hold the door they will say something nice to whoever is entering.)
3. Can train a dog and a rose  (Fred’s version: Southern men can train their dog to deliver a rose.)
4. Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent  (Fred’s version: Southern men can make facial hair look sexy and if they decide to get a tattoo, won’t cry.)
5. Knows when not to say anything  (Fred’s version: Southern men aren’t afraid to say I love you.)
6. Wears his learning lightly  (Fred’s version: might not have a fancy degree but he can skin, clean and fix venison as good as most chefs. He can catch and cook fish leaving you wanting more.)
7. Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit, and a dinner jacket  (Fred’s version: It’s not the clothes that make a Southern man, it’s the man that makes the clothes.)
8. Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes  (Fred’s version: Southern men have a pair of boots. Enough said.)
9. Turns his mobile phone to silent at dinner (Fred’s version: If you’re having dinner with a Southern man, phones aren’t involved.)
10. Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms  (Fred’s version: If you’re staying with a Southern man, you’re not considered a guest. You’re family.)
11. Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper  (Fred’s version: A Southern man takes care of those who care for him. And he is a gamekeeper, never taking more than is needed.)
12. Says his name when being introduced  (Fred’s version: A Southern man is introduced by others.)
13. Breaks a relationship face to face  (Fred’s version: With a Southern man, the relationship may change but is never broken.)
14. Is unafraid to speak the truth  (Fred’s version: A Southern man also speaks the truth but the difference is he will also act on it.
15. Knows when to clap  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will also stand and cheer. He will let you know he’s on your side always. (Sic ‘em)) [This was pure sucking up to Gig and the Beau.]
16. Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will also arrive early, but he will stay for as long as it takes to get the job done right.)
17. Is good with waiters  (Fred’s version: A Southern man doesn’t mind being the waiter.)
18. Has two tricks to entertain children (Fred’s version: A Southern man will be a child to entertain a child.)
19. Can undo a bra with one hand  (Fred’s version: Well, let’s just say women leave their bras at home when being entertained by Southern men.)
20. Sings lustily in church  (Fred’s version: It’s not just singing. Southern men believe what they are singing.)
21. Is not vegetarian  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will adapt to what is needed. See #19.)
22. Can sail a boat and ride a horse  (Fred’s version: A Southern man drives his boat as fast as he wants, no wind needed. And can ride a horse with one hand while the horse is bucking.)
23. Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson  (Fred’s version: Whiskey and politicians. Now that’s a pair that Southern men know all about.)
24. Never kisses and tells  (Fred’s version: With Southern men, the women do all the talking <3)
25. Cooks an omelette to die for  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will die for his lady. Not eggs.)
26. Can prepare a one-match bonfire  (Fred’s version: A Southern man has a lady friend to keep warm.)
27. Seeks out his hostess at a party  (Fred’s version: A Southern man is the party.)
28. Knows when to use an emoji  (Fred’s version: A Southern man doesn’t need emojis. But will have fun using them at times.)
29. Would never own a Chihuahua  (Fred’s version: Southern men don’t have the word Chihuahua in their vocabulary.)
30. Has read Pride and Prejudice  (Fred’s version: Southern men have pride and aren’t prejudiced.)
31. Can tie his own bow tie  (Fred’s version: Southern men wear a bolo. No need to tie.)
32. Would not go to Puerto Rico  (Fred’s version: Southern men like beautiful women in bikinis.)
33. Knows the difference between a rook and a crow  (Fred’s version: Southern men don’t care about black birds. They would rather feed their lady dove or quail.)
34. Sandals? No. Never  (Fred’s version: Return to #8.)
35. Wears a rose, not a carnation  (Fred’s version: Southern men would rather give you roses.)
36. Swats flies and rescues spiders  (Fred’s version: Southern men don’t have time for either. Re-read #19.) (My rescue: Southern men teach their daughters to kill their own flies and spiders.)
37. Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition  (Fred’s version: Southern men will make the race worth the competition.)
38. Never blow dries his hair  (Fred’s version: Southern men blow dry their lady’s hair.) (And some can French braid it too.)
39. Knows that there is always an exception to a rule  (Fred’s version: Southern men ARE the exception to the rule.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(And when I suggested that maybe #36 was a little weak –(Fred’s reply: Southern men have real jobs and sometimes you get what you get!))

Now, Gig and I came up with our own and we aren’t finished. I mean, we need at least 39. So, chime in….Here’s what we said:

The ? steps to being a Redneck Gentleman

1. Knows how to use a duck call
2. Only shoots for the meat
3. Can skin his own deer, but chooses to outsource it every time (so the other guy makes some money)
4. Carries a hanky for his bride.
5. Doesn’t vote for Trump but reposts all of the funny Trump memes, whilst secretly rooting for Bernie Sanders.
6. Knows how to camouflage hat hair…and a beat up old truck.
7. Wouldn’t be caught dead in lilac socks or own a Chihuahua.
8. Has a sense of humor.
9. Can drive anything..with a beer in 1 hand.
10. Always opens the door for women, children and old folks.
11. Loves his dog as much as his wife and kids.
12. • Knows how to please a woman. Even when she’s insatiable.
13. • Tailgates his alma mater religiously.
14. • Has enough Camo to call it a wardrobe.
15. • Knows the difference between a bass, a trout and a crappie and how to pronounce crappie.
16. • Never gives a limp fish handshake but can adjust his shake for gentler souls.
17. • Southern men are sentimental but only cry at their momma’s funeral or their baby girl’s wedding.

 

Lara Spencer on Good Morning America  talked about an article in Country Life magazine. Apparently it was about what defines an English gentleman. Let’s just say Fred and The Beau, well, they didn’t fair too well. So that led Gig and I on a rabbit trail about Redneck Gentlemen (Yes, there definitely is such a thing…it’s just a little bit different from an English Gentleman.)

Well, we were cracking ourselves up so much that I thought we needed to get the boys involved. I thought they’d kick back a few “Redneck gentlemen do….” texts and we’d get a good giggle and go on our way. I under estimated Fred. (I often do even after all these years.) Throughout the day, with his not so little texting fingers, Fred posted his response to the English gents 39 steps. Here are the results: The 39 steps to being a (modern) gentleman courtesy of Country Life and Fred:

1. Negotiates airports with ease (Fred’s version: Southern men can do this while transporting a weapon.)
2. Never lets a door slam in someone’s face (Fred’s version: Southern men will not only hold the door they will say something nice to whoever is entering.)
3. Can train a dog and a rose  (Fred’s version: Southern men can train their dog to deliver a rose.)
4. Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent  (Fred’s version: Southern men can make facial hair look sexy and if they decide to get a tattoo, won’t cry.)
5. Knows when not to say anything  (Fred’s version: Southern men aren’t afraid to say I love you.)
6. Wears his learning lightly  (Fred’s version: might not have a fancy degree but he can skin, clean and fix venison as good as most chefs. He can catch and cook fish leaving you wanting more.)
7. Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit, and a dinner jacket  (Fred’s version: It’s not the clothes that make a Southern man, it’s the man that makes the clothes.)
8. Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes  (Fred’s version: Southern men have a pair of boots. Enough said.)
9. Turns his mobile phone to silent at dinner (Fred’s version: If you’re having dinner with a Southern man, phones aren’t involved.)
10. Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms  (Fred’s version: If you’re staying with a Southern man, you’re not considered a guest. You’re family.)
11. Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper  (Fred’s version: A Southern man takes care of those who care for him. And he is a gamekeeper, never taking more than is needed.)
12. Says his name when being introduced  (Fred’s version: A Southern man is introduced by others.)
13. Breaks a relationship face to face  (Fred’s version: With a Southern man, the relationship may change but is never broken.)
14. Is unafraid to speak the truth  (Fred’s version: A Southern man also speaks the truth but the difference is he will also act on it.
15. Knows when to clap  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will also stand and cheer. He will let you know he’s on your side always. (Sic ‘em)) [This was pure sucking up to Gig and the Beau.]
16. Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will also arrive early, but he will stay for as long as it takes to get the job done right.)
17. Is good with waiters  (Fred’s version: A Southern man doesn’t mind being the waiter.)
18. Has two tricks to entertain children (Fred’s version: A Southern man will be a child to entertain a child.)
19. Can undo a bra with one hand  (Fred’s version: Well, let’s just say women leave their bras at home when being entertained by Southern men.)
20. Sings lustily in church  (Fred’s version: It’s not just singing. Southern men believe what they are singing.)
21. Is not vegetarian  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will adapt to what is needed. See #19.)
22. Can sail a boat and ride a horse  (Fred’s version: A Southern man drives his boat as fast as he wants, no wind needed. And can ride a horse with one hand while the horse is bucking.)
23. Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson  (Fred’s version: Whiskey and politicians. Now that’s a pair that Southern men know all about.)
24. Never kisses and tells  (Fred’s version: With Southern men, the women do all the talking <3)
25. Cooks an omelette to die for  (Fred’s version: A Southern man will die for his lady. Not eggs.)
26. Can prepare a one-match bonfire  (Fred’s version: A Southern man has a lady friend to keep warm.)
27. Seeks out his hostess at a party  (Fred’s version: A Southern man is the party.)
28. Knows when to use an emoji  (Fred’s version: A Southern man doesn’t need emojis. But will have fun using them at times.)
29. Would never own a Chihuahua  (Fred’s version: Southern men don’t have the word Chihuahua in their vocabulary.)
30. Has read Pride and Prejudice  (Fred’s version: Southern men have pride and aren’t prejudiced.)
31. Can tie his own bow tie  (Fred’s version: Southern men wear a bolo. No need to tie.)
32. Would not go to Puerto Rico  (Fred’s version: Southern men like beautiful women in bikinis.)
33. Knows the difference between a rook and a crow  (Fred’s version: Southern men don’t care about black birds. They would rather feed their lady dove or quail.)
34. Sandals? No. Never  (Fred’s version: Return to #8.)
35. Wears a rose, not a carnation  (Fred’s version: Southern men would rather give you roses.)
36. Swats flies and rescues spiders  (Fred’s version: Southern men don’t have time for either. Re-read #19.) (My rescue: Southern men teach their daughters to kill their own flies and spiders.)
37. Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition  (Fred’s version: Southern men will make the race worth the competition.)
38. Never blow dries his hair  (Fred’s version: Southern men blow dry their lady’s hair.) (And some can French braid it too.)
39. Knows that there is always an exception to a rule  (Fred’s version: Southern men ARE the exception to the rule.)

(And when I suggested that maybe #36 was a little weak –(Fred’s reply: Southern men have real jobs and sometimes you get what you get!))

Now, Gig and I had started our own list… and we aren’t finished. I mean, we need at least 39. So, chime in….Here’s what our list of “The ? steps to being a Redneck Southern Gentleman”:

1. Knows how to use a duck call
2. Only shoots for the meat
3. Can skin his own deer, but chooses to outsource it every time (so the other guy makes some money)
4. Carries a hanky for his bride.
5. Doesn’t vote for Trump but reposts all of the funny Trump memes, whilst secretly rooting for Bernie Sanders.
6. Knows how to camouflage hat hair…and a beat up old truck.
7. Wouldn’t be caught dead in lilac socks or own a Chihuahua.
8. Has a sense of humor.
9. Can drive anything..with a beer in 1 hand.
10. Always opens the door for women, children and old folks.
11. Loves his dog as much as his wife and kids.
12. Tailgates his alma mater religiously.
13. Has enough Camo to call it a wardrobe.
14. Knows the difference between a bass, a trout and a crappie and how to pronounce crappie.
15. Never gives a limp fish handshake but can adjust his shake for gentler souls.
16. Southern men are sentimental but only cry at their momma’s funeral or their baby girl’s wedding.

Come on….tell us about your Southern Redneck Gentleman!

Sunday, I had the absolute pleasure of experiencing Outstanding In The Field with my Sweet Friend, Deb.

If you are a foodie, you will LOVE OITF. The brainchild of chef Jim Denevan, OITF,
brings together local organic producers, in yesterday’s case, Johnson Backyard Garden Denton, and a local chef, Dallas’ Matt McCallister of FT33, and about a 50 guests for an outstanding meal…in a field.

It was my first experience with OITF and I had a ball! The food was Ab.So.Lute.Ly incredible!

We started with appetizers: chicken liver bon bon with stone fruit jam (I know, I know…chicken liver, but it was fabulous); rocky radishes, with black butter bagna cauda (garlicy anchovy somethin-somethin) that was to die for & my favorite; and chili honey popcorn with
winter squash slaw. These were paired with a choice of Deep Ellum Brewing company ales or a very nice sparkling wine. We were able to visit and get our bearings, take a few pics and then took a tour of the farm, hearing about how JBG Denton started and how it works. (They use volunteers, it you’re interested.)

Then we got to sit down at the table! It’s an opportunity to meet some of your fellow diners. We had folks from St. Louis, Phoenix, Boston and NYC; all come to eat dinner in Denton TX. There were 5 nurses at our table! Retirees, new parents, restaurants owners, pharmacists.

Deb had encouraged me to bring my own plate, one that meant something to me. I brought my grandmother’s pink floral china (not pictured) and told them the story about my grandfather coming in from the field one day and getting on the phone. When he got off, he announced that he’d bought the Terrell House!! Paid cash! The china came with the house. I may never use this (it’s pink), but I have it and it reminds me of her. (BTW her birthday is this week. Happy birthday, MM. She would be 100 years ornery.)

 

The meal is four courses:

Salad – was a fantastic watercress salad with heirloom grains and potatoes with this divine dressing, very tart and tasty from the FT33 garden with a delightful vermentino from the Texas High Plains.

On to JBG embered (roasted) beets with apples, pecans and baked goat cheese – delightful!

Main course was two styles of pork, roasted and pulled, and the BEST collard greens I have EVER tasted (I had 2 helpings!) and creamy grits.

Dessert was an apple cake with spiced cream and fall fruit compote. This was the only thing I shared…kind of accidentally.

All in all, I had a delightful time. Thanks, Deb, for taking me! It was foodie heaven.

P.S. Deb & I shared photos, so some of the photo credits go to her.

Dear Mr. Garth Brooks,

About 20 years ago, my husband and I went to the Garth Brooks concert at Texas Stadium. We aren’t concert go-ers really, but obviously your music had struck a cord and we wanted to see Garth Brooks in concert and it was in Dallas, close to where we live! At the time, we had a beautiful red-headed-5-year-old daughter and a brand new baby boy. Our daughter, little as she was, loved Garth Brooks songs.

I can remember her snuggling closer to her Daddy when The Thunder Rolls would come on the radio. She loved the song, but somehow seemed to know there was something sinister about it at the same time; enough so that she would cuddle closer to her safe haven. She was a huge pint-sized fan.

So when the opportunity came for us to attend the concert of our lifetime, we did the grown up thing and snuck away from our sweet little daughter because we knew we wouldn’t be able to leave her peacefully if she knew we were going to see Garth Brooks. But who takes a 5-year old to a giant concert like that? It was YEARS before we confessed to her that we’d gone. Let’s just say, she took it better – not well – but better than she would have at 5.

Last night we may finally have been forgiven when she and her new husband, “The Beau” attended your concert in Houston. The first text I got was, “Garth can spit on me we are THAT close.” Followed by, “OMG. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make it through the show without crying. Happy tears. But tears.” Let me just say, this precious woman-child of mine is NOT a crier, but there might be a little hero-worship wrapped up in those last night.

You and Ms. Yearwood got rave reviews! They said the concert was incredible and ranked right up there with Paul McCartney (The Beau’s ultimate concert experience) and the tip-top of concerts for her. (They actually go to concerts, so they have better basis of judgement than I would have.) 

The concert glow is still loud and clear this morning. They had FUN and said you did too. They spoke of the finger-pointing light show, the intro chord reaction for Friends In Low Places, the extra verses in Texas, 4 encores, the crowd standing for the entire show and the smile on your face the whole time. And the exhaustion THEY felt after (How can he do another show tonight?!)

Thank you, Mr. Brooks. WELL DONE. And thanks for getting forgiveness for me – some what – 20-years later. Or maybe that’s just pay back since I wasn’t there. 🙁

But here’s the “funny” part of the story:

News broke that you would perform 8 concerts in Houston and MY CHILD WAS GOING! After all, she’d been waiting for this opportunity for over 20 years.

She had alarms and reminders set so that she could get online before everything sold out….then the morning the tickets went on sale….their house flooded. So when the alarms and reminders went off, she was mopping up water and propping stuff up out of the path of the water flow. Hours later, exhausted, frustrated, she discovered that she’d missed her opportunity for tickets. You cannot imagine her disappointment. (Well, you have 3 daughters, maybe you can.) I think she was more disappointed that she’d missed the ticket sales than she was about the house flooding.

I was so bummed for her. I’d even decided to try and write you a letter to see if there was any way she could get tickets. Then – thank you social media – someone posted tickets online for sale. Turns out to be a Baylor fan. (She & her husband are BIG tailgaters for Baylor.) They ended up trading Baylor tickets for Garth Brooks tickets and well….happy, HAPPY girl!

And so, Mr. Garth Brooks, a great ending…a great concert..a happy girl…oh, and a little forgiveness, can’t forget that!

Congratulations on your un-retirement. Sounds like it’s going well for you. 🙂