Category Archives: Uncategorized

Hometown

I grew up in a medium size farm town….and I remember, I was ready to get out of there!

I had conversations with both of my kids this week about how they don’t really have a connection to THIS town. And it made me a little sad. Aren’t they supposed to love their home town? I mean, we tried so hard to give them roots, a place to be connected. I didn’t realize how little they connected with the place we’ve called home for so long.

My dad was transferred when I was 16. From Lubbock to Houston. At 16! I went from driving on farm roads to driving in big city traffic. I got lost my first time out alone and ended up in a funeral procession….on I-45…on the other side of Houston! It was traumatic!

And I LOVED going back home…where my friends were, where my grandparents were, where I knew who I was supposed to be and how to get there, figuratively and literally. Lubbock had these amber colored lights all the way around the loop (that’s a small town term for a big circle to drive around town not through town on). At night, flying in, it was this big amber circle shining in the vast darkness of the plains. It meant you could see HOME from a long way out. And it felt good to ‘come home’. I haven’t lived there since ’76, but it’s still “home” in my mind. It’s where my roots are…part of what made me who I am. My home town.

Maybe that’s the problem. That was my home town AND it was HOME. But those are different. HOME was my grandparents’ house. HOME is where Fred is. HOME is where I’m connected. Not a city…but a place of my heart.

I guess I needed to have that conversation…about the city. So I can be grateful that they come HOME to see me…I thought there was a lesson maybe that I failed to teach them…But perhaps it was a lesson I needed to learn myself. HOME is different from hown town. One is where you live. The other is where you LOVE. And it doesn’t matter if my kids don’t feel connected to their home town as long as they know where HOME is.

What about you? Do you like your home town? Where’s your HOME?

I <3 Ella

This was a baby shower gift for a co-worker. See how the L’s look like a heart? That’s the beauty of having a daughter who’s a graphic designer. It’s kind of shameful how little time it took her to create the look I wanted. But I think the momma-to-be (who’s going to be a delightful momma!) was happy with the result.

Materials:

Simple white frame (you could certainly do this with a old frame laying around and a little white paint and a bit of distressing)
A piece of scrapbook paper in a design to coordinate with the nursery
An added flower embellishment…
Oh yeh, and a daughter to “design” it for you.

I copied the pdf design onto the paper and cut the page to size.

It Takes a Long Time to Raise Kids

Is it EVER going to be done?! This raising of kids? My nest is empty, but I’m not finsihed being a mom.

There’s a slew of ladies at my office (the ‘young-guns’ I call them) having babies. It does seem to come in waves…and sometimes I just want to look deep into their eyes and say, “….it never ends…go back! Run! Forrest! Run!” But then I see the glow in their eyes and remember the excitement and I keep my thoughts to myself. Well, ok, I put them here, but I didn’t say them into the GLOW. It’s too late any way.

And I remember the delight of watching my kids grow up, the things they discovered, the things they taught me. New eyes seeing old things. And I wouldn’t trade that…

Sometimes it’s just pure pleasure to have adult children…and sometimes….well sometimes they are still the kids and you’re still the mom. And even adult children can be brats. (OK, moms can be brats too but not as often!)

And sometimes it hurts being a mom.

All the things you worry about…are they happy, did I teach them the right things, was I a good mom …who will take care of me when I can’t take care of myself? (And that’s a WHOLE other blog post for much later!)

But really, my point is, you don’t ever get to quit being a mom. Even if sometimes you may want to.

I think you change (grow up) and the relationship changes (maybe more than any other relationship you ever have), but you’re still the mom.

And now you have to learn to be a diplomat too. And a friend. And to keep your mouth shut sometimes. And to wait….to wait until it’s their time. Their time to find their own way, their own feet, their own place in the scheme of things. And sometimes that waiting is hard.

And sometimes, you just wish they were still little enough to protect…..or to spank when they are misbehaving…or to tuck them safely in their bed at night like back when you delusionally thought you had some control.

Someone should have told me..it takes a long time to raise kids…to be a mom….maybe forever!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

My husband turned 58 last week. Not sure when we got old enough for him to be that old. (I’m the child bride, you know. At least that’s my story and I’m stickin to it.) I remember when he turned 40, I just couldn’t believe I was married to “someone that old”. Then I turned 40 and it didn’t seem quite so …well, old.

I was thinking about it today. I still think of myself as about 27. I loved being 27. And if I’m not paying attention, I still FEEL 27. Did I get stuck there somehow? So I started wondering about it. Does everyone “stay” a certain age in their life? Is it because of where you were or an event, like a marker, that occurred? Was it just because I liked being 27?

I think it was because that was a really pivotal time in my life. I was really an adult: I was married, had my first child, had a good job, had a confidence about who I was and who I was going to be. (Maybe that was born from youthful ignorance.) But it was also a happy time. I loved watching my daughter grow up. The changes in babies are so fast and myriad that it’s just awesome to observe. There were lots of possibilities.

Maybe it’s because I’d just lost my mom. Maybe I stayed there with that emotional scar. I don’t think about it being sad. I LIKED that time! But maybe it was a combination of things…maybe that was the best of me? Like a peak prformance?

I know I have fought growing older. No growing old gracefully for me! I HATE not seeing without 1.50+ readers (glasses, whippersnappers, glasses). Having to chase a pair down & Fred making fun of me having 6 pair laying around in various rooms. And the middle age spread! Yuck! And I’m not exactly proud of the gray hair hidden under my color (that is a secret we’re not going to talk about.) Mark Twain said in Following the Equator, that “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” That’s a really nice sentiment….until you see the wrinkles in the mirror and then you’re thinking: Not.

Well, I think I’ll just go on feeling 27. But trying to remember the bonus of the years from then to now. I’m so proud of the years Fred and I’ve spent together..and the children we raised and the adults they’re becoming. And the future. Good grief! There may be grandbabies in a not too distant future. And a second career! One that I do because I want it, because it has a purpose. Just remember though, “Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” ~Jim Fiebig

Now I ‘m hungry for ice cream!

Does that happen to you? Do you feel like you’re still a certain age? Why is that? And why does that dang mirror lie? That can’t be my old face in that mirror!